GarbageTalk: Art of the Smack Talk

By John Kirkland

Twitter: @FBGarbageTalk

Now that we are getting close to drafting our fantasy football teams, what with all the pomp and circumstance that goes into believing our team is THE team to beat (until it gets beat), I thought it appropriate to help people out with a couple of helpful jabs, a la Geno, to get us all – in the words of Awwwnoald – puwwwmped up!

Now anyone can point out the obvious when drafting. Like: oh, you drafted Brady – he and his deflated “whatevers” gonna droop big TIIme!  Really emphasize the TIIme.

So here are some good originals a la your bestie, FBGarbageTalk!

  1. Oh, you’re a San Fran fan. So you’re still following those Giants into the baseball postseason, right?
  2. Wow. You drafted a Jet. Ya know they are gonna be more deflated than Brady’s balls this year, right?
  3. Ha. You’re drafting the Giants Defense? How many fingers am I holding up? Drop science.
  4. Wow. You drafted Matt Cassel? Rex Ryan be like “where my casserole? Damn lap band. Gonna lose again this year. Thank god I’m off them Jets!”

Yeah. So in a nutshell, I’ve now told you NOT to draft any Jets, 49ers, Giants D, or Bills’ QB…ever. And I’ve told you not to catch TB too early. Consider yourselves blessed.