GarbageTalk: Followin’ Up On The Houston Texans Cheerleader Tryouts

As y’all may recall I wrote about the upcoming Houston Texan cheerleading squad tryouts in March.  Well, after auditioning over 1000, the Texans are down to choosing from the final 50 … that’s right, five O.  I’m sure it’s stressful, especially for the vets who were on the team last year.  Yep, America — everyone has to try out every year.  Crazy!  Imagine having to try out for your job every year! Got to say though, it is quite amazing that these women still have time for social media and to reach out and follow their followers.  Shout out to: @HTC_SarahC, @HTC_Antonieta, @HTC_Krystal, @HTC_Elizabeth, @HTC_Daranesha, @HTC_Allison, @HTC_Natsuki, and last but not least, @HTC_SarahF!

As thanks, I took the liberty of modifying some of the lyrics of Blake Shelton’s hit song, “Boys ‘Round Here.”  Oh, and I left some of Shelton’s lyrics in to help y’all follow the beat! Hope it serves as a little inspiration to go that final mile!  And so, here y’all go:

Red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red boots Well the girls ’round here don’t listen to the Beatles, run all glitz and glam, rock an HT Speaker At the grid iron, where their boots stomp all night; what? That’s right. Yeah, and those babes on parade, smilin’ on the field, got’ta perfect that hair flip, ‘fore the Texan fans To get a vote, to make the squad in 20-15 (A Texan girl can survive) Yeah, the girls ‘round here Bringin’ that Texan cheer Talkin’ ‘bout vets, talkin’ ‘bout love Runnin’ them red boot soles out, kickin’ up legs The girls ‘round here Sending up a prayer to the man upstairs HTC legit, that’s right they’re fit vote the Texan, vote the Texan, vote the Texan, VETS Aw Heck! Red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red, red boots!

Cheers America!  And if y’all want another verse, re-tweet this article!

By John Kirkland

Twitter: @FBGarbageTalk

Disclaimer: GarbageTalkTM (this Column), is a news and football satire web publication. All articles contained within this Column are fiction, and contain presumably fake news. As such, any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental. All characters and events referenced, even those based on real people, are entirely fictional. Any and all overheard conversations referenced herein have occurred solely in this author’s warped brain and are meant entirely for entertainment purposes.