XFL Week 2 – Everything You Don’t Need To Know (Mostly)

By Joanne Kong

Twitter: @KongFu4U

If the NFL is the serious older brother, then the XFL is the fun-loving just doing it for the love of it younger brother.

It’s played just for the love of the game by players that might never make it (or back) to the NFL.  It’s their opportunity to put on the uniform, be part of a team and play the game they love.  That’s the XFL.  Good times with victories celebrated with Bud Light Seltzer and fans that are extra enthusiastic…

…okay, maybe not that enthusiastic.  But, definitely at least this enthusiastic…

So what happened in Week 2 of the XFL?  Here we go!

  • What’s a Beer Snake?

No, it’s not a snake that feeds on beer.  Though that would be pretty cool.  Rather it’s a snake built form all the cups of beer consumed in the stadium during the game.

Still don’t get it?  Well, the fans of the DC Defenders do, and here’s what it looked like during AND after the game:

Yeah, pretty impressive.  It’s even more impressive that they conga-lined with the beer snake all the way to the recycling center!  Okay, they didn’t do that, but they should have.  Regardless, collecting all those cups is really the hardest part of recycling isn’t it?  I mean, what do you do with your empty beer cups at NFL games?  Well, if you’re an Eagles fan, you might try throwing them at Santa Claus, but that’s totally environmentally unfriendly, so XFL Fans 1, Eagles Fans 0.

  • A Well Deserved Post-Celebration

It was the first shut-out of the new XFL.  Shutting out the New York Guardians 27-0, the DC Defenders have a 2-0 start in the XFL.  What does the team do to celebrate?  Chug Bud Light Seltzer of course!  Because who doesn’t like fizzy water spiked with 5% alcohol and for some reason still has 100 calories even though it’s theoretically just water?  Particularly when it’s the only thing in the locker room and its free?

I mean what else are they going to chug, some non-fizzy non-alcoholic H2O?

Nah…clearly it’was to hard to shotgun plain water in a plastic cup, no matter how high quality H2O it is.  It’s only right that they celebrate with Bud Light Seltzer.

The Houston Roughnecks also celebrated their 2-0 record in creative fashion, defeating the St. Louis Battlehawks 28-24.

  • The DUNDIE for Unsportsmanlike Comments goes to…Matt McGloin!!!

And if you don’t know what a “Dundie Award” is, do you hate pop culture from a decade ago?  Well, I won’t judge, here’s a primer:

You’re welcome.  Now let’s get back to it.

A competitive streak is understandable for any athlete.  The objective is to win.  But the golden rule of a “team sport” is that it is a team sport.  McGloin obviously forgot that there are 11-men on the field and he’s one of them.  With only 8 completions from 19 attempts, McGloin threw for 44 yards, no touchdowns and 2 interceptions.  McGloin was frustrated at half-time…

…and then had a few words to say to the coach in the 4th Quarter.

Sure, why not blame everyone (except yourself) for your team being shut out and throwing 2 interceptions?  I wonder why he’s not in the NFL anymore.

And some more words from Mr. McGloin…

Thankfully, the nightmare ended when the game clock went to zero in the fourth quarter.

McGloin eventually got benched.  Shocker.  Well played, McGloin.  Well played.

  • For the Love of Football … and Everyone who Plays it

It’s an amazing thing when a player puts aside personal issues and goes onto the field to honor their team and the memory of those that supported them.  That’s exactly what DC Defenders wide receiver Eli Rogers did the day of his mother’s funeral.  In support of his fellow teammates and in memory of his late mother, Eli Rogers did both of them proud by helping bring the team a 27-0 win against the NY Guardians.

  • This Might Be the Shortest Interception for a Touchdown Ever…at least in the XFL

The Seattle Dragons DE Marcell Frazier intercepted the Tampa Bay Vipers QB Quintin Flowers for essentially a 2 yard pick six.  Sure, there’s been a 0 yard pick six in the NFL (I’m looking at you RGIII getting picked by Lawrence Guy in 2013), but this one is still pretty impressive.

  • The National Anthem

It’s not every day an eight-year-old gets an opportunity to sing the national anthem before a sporting event…but maybe it should be (if they can sing like this).

  • Clear the Benches!

A blindside hit by a DC Defenders player started a domino effect that cleared the bench.  A few stare downs and intimidating stances…like a pug going against a great dane, except both teams are the pug in this situation.  This is as serious as the game gets…luckily there were no more fist-a-cuffs or shenanigans.

  • Star of the Week

The Fans voted.  Cam Phillips of the Houston Roughnecks is your Week 2 “Star of the Week”!

Check back in Week 3 of the XFL for MORE things you definitely don’t need to know (mostly)!

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