Sex, Lives & Football (Players): Is Romo Ono?

Well, I hoped you enjoyed getting to know Mr. Gronkowski a little better.  And after discussing the boisterous, media attracting and sometimes controversial Gronk, perhaps we now turn to someone who’s a little more of a nice guy — Mr. Tony Romo.

Admit it, when you saw the ESPN commercial with Tony Romo working as the receptionist, you thought “Yeah, I could totally see that.”  He’s inoffensive and mildly pleasant.  He seems like a nice guy.  And he looks like he would be good at keeping your schedule.

So what’s so interesting about Tony Romo?

I’ve often asked myself the same question. And after giving it some more thought, I’ve concluded that…well, perhaps you should decide.

Of course, the first thing I did was type in “Tony Romo scandal” in a search engine. And, as expected, you don’t find anything that actually pertains to a “scandal.”  So what does that say about Mr. Romo?  Is he Ono?  And what the heck is Ono?

Well, Ono actually is a fish.  But we’re not asking if Romo is a fish, although that would be an interesting subject for a Philosophy 101 class.  What we’re asking is whether Romo is the “best”.  You see, there’s an awesome guidebook that I always use when I go to Kauai, Hawaii call “The Ultimate Kauai Guidebook: Kauai Revealed”.  And in that book, the author uses “Ono” to indicate which restaurants are best.  And thus, why we ask, is Romo Ono?  And Ono happens to rhyme with Romo too, so there’s that.

Here are some quick facts:

Full name: Antonio Ramiro “Tony” Romo
Age: 34 (4/21/80)
NFL Team: Dallas Cowboys (after being undrafted in 2003, he signed as a Rookie Free Agent with Dallas)
Position: Quarterback
Years in the NFL: 11 years
Times in the Pro-Bowl: 4 (2006, 2007, 2009, 2014)
College: Easter Illinois University (NCAA Division I-AA) – Romo won the Walter Payton Award in 2002, and led the Panthers football team to an Ohio Valley Conference championship in 2001.
40 yard dash time: 5.01 seconds

And now a few things that you may or may not have known about Mr. Romo:

1) Tony Romo is a family man.

Tony Romo married current wife, Candice Crawford, in 2011 and has two sons Hawkins and Rivers.

2) Tony Romo has an official web page.

Unfortunately, there’s nothing on the site of any interest, except a link for the Dallas Cowboys website (which might be interesting if your a Cowboy’s fan, I guess).

3) Tony Romo plays golf (probably better than you, but what does that say?)

When Romo’s not playing football, you can probably find him on the golf course.

Want to find out more about his swing? Go to your local library and read the November 2009 issue of Golf Digest (Romo’s swing mechanics was deconstructed). He competes in several tournaments a year, including the Pebble Beach Pro-Am. He’s friends with Tiger Wood (if you think that’s cool), among others.

In the past, Tony Romo attempted to qualify for the U.S.Open. He never made it. He’s decided to focus on football.  He hasn’t actually made it there yet either.

4) Romo is a “TOUGH GUY” (Okay, this one is pretty manly)

How many NFL quarterbacks do you know (figuratively, not personally, because I actually only know one person who knows an NFL quarterback personally — you know who you are…) that play through a season recovering from back injury, broken ribs and a fractured transverse process, while wearing a kevlar vest?  I’m willing to bet none.  At least none while wearing kevlar.  Because we all know that kevlar makes everything more awesome.

And although Romo has been criticized for his post season performance in the past, that wasn’t the focus this year as he was one Dez Bryant catch away from playing in the NFC championship game.  And for all you Dallas Cowboys fans, here’s video of that non-catch so you can riled up all over again:

On the other hand, there was that lifted pass interference flag the week before against the Lions, so…well, let’s just leave it at that.

Regardless, the 34 year old, 11 year veteran, had a terrific 2014 with had a career high in quarterback rating (113.2), completion percentage (69.9), and touchdown to interception ratio (34/9). He lead the team to an 8-0 record on the road, and the team’s first playoff appearance and post-season win since 2009.

Tony Romo even received 2 votes for MVP at the NFL Honors. Tom Brady only had 1 vote. What does that say about Tom Brady?  It says Brady couldn’t care less because he has four giant Super Bowl rings.

FYI…Aaron Rodgers won with 31 out of the 50 votes.  No “double check” required for that vote.

5) Tony Romo got paid to love Pizza Hut…and the Pizza out-shined him (maybe that was the point)

You might never see Tony Romo in a Super Bowl, but if you watched Super Bowl XLIX, you saw him in a Super Bowl commercial for Pizza Hut.

Check out this forgettable super bowl commercial. Even his clothes were bland. The pizza had more personality than he did in this commercial.  But then again, the pizza had three different cheeses on top, so it’s hard to be more interesting than that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLiF1ROoP7I

6) Tony Romo gets paid a “butt load” of money (you would too if you played QB for the NFL…maybe)

In 2013, Tony Romo signed a seven year contract extension. The $119.5 Million dollar deal guarantees the Dallas quarterback $55 Million. In 2014, the quarterback agreed to a million dollar salary to relieve some of the funds in the NFL salary cap. But, don’t worry about Tony Romo and his family’s quality of life. In lue of a million dollar salary, Romo was promised a 12.5 Million dollar signing bonus. In 2015, Romo’s salary will increase to $17 Million. In 2016, $8.5 Million. In 2017, $14 Million. In 2018, $19.5 Million. In 2019, $20.5 Million.

If his body can hold out that long.

7) Tony Romo loves blonds (and they love him back…until he breaks-up with them)

Tony Romo might not be particularly notable, but he’s dated some notable women.

Carrie Underwood (2006 – 2007)

Their break-up didn’t have a friendly parting. Does any break-up have a friendly parting? Although Carrie Underwood denies her heartbreak lyrics to “Cowboy Casanova” weren’t inspired by Romo (stating she’d never immortalize him), they were written right after their break-up. You be the Judge.

 

 

 

 

Jessica Simpson (2007 – 2009)

Romo might be common, but he knows how to break a girl’s heart. Romo broke-up with Jessica Simpson the day before her 29th birthday. He was seen partying with pals (singing don’t stop believing…in love…maybe) at the Roosevelt Hotel on Saturday (which was Simpson’s birthday). She canceled the Barbie-themed party she had planned (thinking good thoughts while eating her Barbie-themed birthday cake…maybe).

FYI… After a late 2008 season slide, Dallas fans branded Simpson a JINX. She was booed at Cowboy Stadium. Gisele Bundchin was also branded a JINX, called the curse of the “babe-ino.” (the curse is said to be lifted after the Patriots XLIX win)

 

Break-up’s are hard, but don’t feel to bad for these two ladies.  They’ve both moved on, married and had kids, living happily without Tony Romo.  Did anyone doubt they would?

 

Candice Crawford (2011 – present)

The Texas born, crowned Miss. Missouri in 2008, married Tony Romo in 2011.

They started dating shortly after Romo’s break-up with Simpson in 2009. Coincidence?

After his break-up with Jessica Simpson, there was speculation that Romo was gay (of course, there were several rumors of their break-up floating around). We all know that’s untrue unless his wife and sons are all part of an elaborate ruse.

And guess what? Crawford has a criminal record. Candice Crawford was arrested for underage possession of alcohol at a bar in Columbia, Missouri in 2007. (Lame, I know.)

 

8) Tony Romo was arrested

NO! Not that Tony Romo, this Tony Romo (see below) for making/passing fictitious checks.

So is Tony Romo Ono?

He’s not known for wild parties or a sparkling personality. You won’t find him on the National Enquirer (like his friend Tiger Woods), or TMZ like his brother-in-law Chace Crawford, starring in Gossip Girl.

But, that’s okay.

You might not like him, but you can’t hate him.  I’ve realized he’s so non-offensive, that I’m actually swayed into thinking he’s “Ono.”

Besides, he plays in the NFL and not many people can say that.  And, he makes a good receptionist.

So what do you think?  Ono?  Or “Oh No”?

By Joanne Kong