The NFL Preseason is Better than the Star Wars Prequels

By Ha Kung Wong

Twitter: @FBGarbageTime

Ah yes, the NFL is back.

And about the only thing I’m more excited about than the start of the 2015 NFL season is the new Star Wars movie.  Thankfully, after two terrible prequels and one not-nausea-inducing prequel, expectations are pretty low.  In fact, as long as there’s no Gungans in the movie (aka Jar Jar Binks and his other racist caricature buddies) and there are no scenes with Anakin Skywalker and Padme rolling in a field, then I’d be pretty happy.  But I digress. The point is that we all have expectations for our favorite NFL teams in 2015 (though mine are again tempered in Chicago), and the beginning of the preseason marks the beginning of hope.  Some might refer to it as “A New Hope.”  See what I did there?  That was a Star Wars reference.  To the first movie.  Which was renamed “A New Hope.”  OK, I’m sorry, I’m also in preseason form.  You’re going to have to keep your expectations low for me as well.  Back to football. The Pittsburgh Steelers and the Minnesota Vikings faced off in the first preseason game of 2015.  And we learned, well, basically nothing about anything.  In fact, about the only thing “Pro” about the game was the name, i.e., The Pro Football Hall of Fame Game.  But perhaps I’m being too harsh.  It’s been a long off season, and it IS just the preseason after all.

So let’s see what we can glean from what did happen.

• The Steelers basically played only backups and second teamers in an attempt to make evaluations regarding their 53-man roster.
• Speaking of which, Steelers backup QB Landry Jones looked “passable”, but is no sure bet to make the 53-man roster in Pittsburgh.  He played the entire game and only completed 50% of his passes for a measly 135 yards and no TDs, being sacked twice.
• And Steelers rookie TE Jesse James was brutal, catching 2 of 4 targets for 9 yards.  The brutal part was his two missed targets, where he badly dropped a totally open redzone TD and then tipped one which turned into an INT.  Sure, he was just a 5th Round pick by the Steelers, but I’m sure they expected more than this.  Let’s chalk it up to first time jitters for now, but he’ll have a lot to prove in future preseason games.
• Vikings QB Teddy Bridgewater was a capable QB against backups (5 for 6 for 44 yards).  It’s nice to see, but doesn’t do much to solidify the hype he’s getting from camp.
• Vikings WR Cordarelle Patterson is unlikely to have many offensive snaps in the regular season (only getting 2 targets while running with the twos).  Amazing that only a few years ago, he was major sleeper.  Guess he never woke up.
• Vikings rookie TE MyCole Pruitt, also a 5th Round pick, will be interesting, as he ran several two TE sets with Kyle Rudolph and ended up catching all 4 targets for 51 yards and a TD.  It’s unlikely that he’ll contribute regularly, but he certainly showed some solid route running ability and threw an effective block that sprung Jerick McKinnon for a nice screen.  And I love Rudolph, but we’re well aware of his injury history.
• Speaking of which, Rudolph caught both his targets for 22 yards and looks ready to roll for the regular season.
• Vikings backup QB Mike Kafka was 7 of 10 for 66 yards and a TD (a beautiful pass to Pruitt).  Sure, he didn’t have much in the way of defense to worry about, but it was good to see a capable backup arm in Minnesota.

The @Steelers left MyCole Pruitt WIIIIDE open. And the @Vikings took advantage. End zone! #PITvsMIN http://t.co/ZJYG2KcRCf

— NFL (@NFL) August 11, 2015

Like I said, not much, but it’s always great to see football back on TV.

Keep it locked in as we’ll be chiming in throughout the NFL preseason with our observations….”locked in” like Luke “locked in” to the Death Star exhaust port in Star Wars!

Which makes you wonder, why in the world did the Death Star have an exhaust port?  Was it for laundry?  And why didn’t they put, oh I don’t know, a door on it?  I guess some things I’ll never know.