Sex, Lives and Football (Players) (kind-of): Super Bowl 51 Mascot Fever
Okay, so I don’t have a stake in either the Atlanta Falcons or the New England Patriots, but with Super Bowl 51 quickly approaching, fans of losing teams across the country are jumping on the Atlanta Falcon and New England Patriot bandwagons. As a New Yorker, there’s no way I can root for the New England Patriots…so Falcons bandwagon here I come.
With that said…
The Atlanta Falcons haven’t seen a super bowl since 1998, when they lost to the Denver Broncos 19-34. Nineteen years later, the Atlanta Falcons, the Champions of the NFC, will face-off against the New England Patriots. The New England Patriots need no introduction. But, I’ll give you one anyway. Since the arrival of Tom Brady under center, the Patriots have debuted at the Super Bowl seven times, and have won 4 Super Bowl championships – with potentially a fifth in two weeks. Even after a four-game suspension, Tom Brady returned to lead them to the promise land once again.
As for the Falcons, at 31 years-old, this will be Matt Ryan’s first Super Bowl debut. We all remember what happened to Cam Newton of the Carolina Panthers in his Super Bowl debut against the Denver Broncos…yeah, he fell apart and the Panther’s lost. Not to get Matt Ryan nervous, but even Las Vegas has the Patriots winning.
at Houston, Texas
Sunday, February 5, 2017
New England Patriots -3
Atlanta Falcons 57.5
— Jeff Sherman (@golfodds) January 23, 2017
Even though Matt Ryan statistically is a better quarterback than Tom Brady:
117.1 / 132.6
69.9% / 70.7%
4,944 / 730
38 / 7
7 / 0
112.2 / 99.5
67.4% / 62.5%
3,554 / 671
28 / 5
2 / 2
Note: Matt Ryan had the second most passing yards and touchdowns in the league in the regular 2016 season.
Of course, a quarterback alone doesn’t make a winning team. Peyton Manning won Super Bowl 50 and well, to put it mildly, he was terrible.
But, one of the best things about this Super Bowl might be the quarterbacks. Or is it?
Let’s meet the not-so-forgotten members of the Atlanta Falcons and the New England Patriots.
The team mascots aren’t much different than athletes. They do charity work, they promote the team and they like being on social media. And, going to the super bowl, will get both these mascots a bonus.
FREDDIE…SET…GO! TO THE SUPER BOWL!
First, let’s look at some basic facts:
NAME: Freddie Falcon
JERSEY #: 00
AGE: Over 35 years-old
HOMETOWN: Atlanta, Georgia
TWITTER HANDLE: @FreddieFalcon
LIKES: Birthday parties, Tailgates, Hanging out with friends.
FAVORITE SPORT: Football
SIGNATURE MOVE: Soaring High
1. Freddie takes the Ice Bucket Challenge.
Why not. But Freddie didn’t just dump a bucket of ice on his feathered head. He did it with some style…slip-and-slide style…
2. Why Freddie Falcon has earned his place on the Atlanta Falcons football team.
Sure, mascots can dance and make us laugh. But, to be an NFL mascot, you need to know how to tackle, and Freddie makes it look easy.
3. Freddie loves hanging out with friends.
Mascots, like birds, tend to flock together. Freddie might enjoy time alone, but nothing is better than spending some time with good friends (no matter what team they represent), having some good fun.
4. Freddy Falcon does Charity work.
It’s never easy finding homes for lost animals, but Freddie knows what a good home can do for a needy animal.
5. Freddie Can Dance.
Did you notice that Pat Patriot wasn’t in the remake…guess Freddie Falcon and Pat Patriot knew this day was coming.
THE PAT IN THE HAT KNOWS A LOT ABOUT THAT…THE SUPER BOWL THAT IS.
First, let’s look at some basic facts:
NAME: Pat Patriot
POSITION: Mascot and First out of the tunnel
JERSEY #: 1
BIRTHDAY: July 4, 1776
PARENT: Phil Bissell
HOMETOWN: Foxbourgh, Massachusetts
TWITTER HANDLE: @PatPatriot
HOBBIES: Practicing Gronk spikes, playing 60 minutes a day, traveling around New England.
SIGNATURE MOVE: His smile – you’ll never see him without it!
FAVORITE SAYING: Do Your Job!
1. Pat Patriot is a good sport.
We know that mascots get into a lot of shenanigans. They’re a rough and tumble bunch with acrobatic skills. Although this game of musical chairs went a little too far, Pat was nothing but a good sport after taking a beating from Blue, the Indianapolis Colts mascot. You’re my boy, Blue!
2. Pat Patriot goes to work like everyone else.
For all of you that think a life of a mascot is just fun and games, think again. They go through a daily grind like you and me…okay, maybe not exactly like you and me.
3. Pat Patriot hangs out with celebrities.
We can’t all live a life of champagne and caviar, but Pat Patriot has a lot of friends in high places…that can teach him some new touchdown dance moves.
Donnie Wahlberg teaches Pat Patriot a new touchdown celebration for the big game
— Patriots.com (@PATRIOTSdotCOM) January 26, 2017
4. Pat Patriot loves selfies.
How does the saying go? A picture is worth a thousand words? Or is it no words?
Pat Patriot took my moms phone and got a selfie how cute (she's peepin in the background) pic.twitter.com/jVkPC5Zb8u
— Laci Rain 🍋 (@lshull_) January 15, 2017
5. Pat Patriot might not break the law, but…
Not many people might have caught this headline in 2009, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.
Due to a recently closed loophole in Rhode Island, which now have made “indoor prostitution” illegal (yeah, I know), Patriots’ mascot, Robert Sormanti, was arrested with 13 others in a hotel prostitution ring.
“The Pat Patriot mascot costume is worn by multiple people, each of whom are held responsible and accountable for their actions. The individual in question has been suspended,” the team said in a statement Friday night. “The mascot responsibilities will continue to be fulfilled by others.”
Unfortunately for Sormanti, the cops that busted him probably didn’t look as good as the cop in the picture.
Now that you’ve gotten to know Freddie Falcon and Pat Patriot you can truly enjoy Super Bowl 51. Don’t forget to dazzle your friends with your newfound knowledge! They’re sure to be impressed.
P.S. If they decide to pour guacamole down your shorts for bringing up mascot trivia, that’s on you. Use at your own risk.