Mental or Mentalist? Results of Staff Super Bowl Predictions

I’m no fan of the Mentalist.

Not because I don’t like the show, but because it basically totally rips off one my favorite shows of all time, Psych.  And it isn’t nearly as funny.  The adventures of Shawn and Gus over 8 seasons were not only incredibly amusing, and consisted of some really fun mysteries, but it also helped me develop a new appreciation for pineapples.  Yeah, pineapples were a big part of the show.  In addition, Pysch had such heralded guest stars as Danny Glover, Corey Feldman, Jason Priestly, Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, Louis Gossett Jr., Freddie Prinze Jr., and Curt Smith.  Curt who, you say?  Only the front man of 80’s super band “Tears for Fears”.  How could you go wrong with every washed up 80’s and 90’s star on the planet AND pineapples?

Psych pineapple

OK, don’t answer that.  Trust me, it was a good show.

The point is, just like Psych and the Mentalist, people can’t really tell the future.  But people love to pretend they can.  As the Football Garbage Time staff did for the Super Bowl.  So how did we all do?  Well, let’s see!

Ha Kung Wong

Looks like my prediction was a tale of two cities.

Sherman and Brady

Bleacher Report Photo

On the Patriots side, I thought they would attack Sherman early by using sweeps and running at him, which they kinda did on the first play with a screen to Gronkowski.  Michael Bennett did move all over the interior and did disrupt Brady.  And Brady did beat this disruption with short out patterns and slants/crossing patterns with Edelman, Amendola and Vereen.  Gronkowski did get his TD, but it was down the right sideline, and not down the seam.  So, all in all, I felt pretty good about my Patriots predictions.

Seattle was another story.  Although I was right that they couldn’t beat the Pats secondary deep with Baldwin and Kearse (except for the crazy “bobble catch” at the end of the game), Wilson did manage to utilize Chris Mathews deep, at least until the Pats took Arrington off him and locked him down with a taller and bigger Browner.  And although Lynch did have limited yards per carry, as anticipated, the zone read did not play as prominent a role (although perhaps it should have on the 1 yard line at the end of the game).  And although Wilson did do a good job taking care of the ball, the one turnover he did have will be one remembered throughout Super Bowl history.

Hey, 50% correct isn’t bad.  Better odds than a casino!

Bobby Pierson

It would seem that Pete Carroll followed his game plan: conjure up a mysterious Foot Locker employee with mad skills, unleash Zuul, and bring in Stay Puft…all the way to the one-yard line. However, Bill Belichick has seen this movie before and he decided to follow the riskiest move in all of science-fiction fauxball lore: He and his comrades crossed streams.


Another Bobby Pierson Original!

After witnessing the comeback of the Seahawks and the earth shaking with about 20 seconds left to play, Belichick knew that Carroll had summoned Gozer and opened a door to an alternate universe. But remembering the wisdom of the late, great Dr. Egon Spengler, Belichick hatched a plan with Tom Brady and Robert Kraft:

Belichick: I have a radical idea. The door swings both ways, we could reverse the particle flow through the gate.
Kraft: How?
Belichick: [pause] We’ll cross the streams.
Kraft: ‘Scuse me Billy Boy? You said crossing the streams was bad!
Brady: [stunned/confused] Cross the streams…
Kraft: You’re gonna endanger us, you’re gonna endanger our client – the nice lady, who paid us in advance, before she became a dog…
Belichick: Not necessarily. There’s definitely a very slim chance we’ll survive.
[pause while they consider this] Kraft: [slaps Brady] I love this plan! I’m excited to be a part of it! LET’S DO IT!

And we all know the rest. Pete Carroll ended his season with marshmallow on his face and the Pats have a parade waiting for them.

Jason Johnson

Sometimes it’s hard to admit you are wrong. Other times, not so hard. I don’t have that dilemma today.

Getty Images Photo

Getty Images Photo

I was totally right that Missy Elliott (!!!) was going to show up and kill it at halftime. I was also correct that the game would not be played in New York. It also didn’t rain, which I 100% called right. I drank beer last night, Sam Adams, which I totally nailed (from a prediction and drinking perspective). I predicted I wouldn’t like the dip–got that one right. It was going to be dark in New York at kickoff–yup. Budweiser would have a sappy commercial (puppies, they’re are so resourceful!!). I predicted that the game would end on February 1. Yep, pretty much got it all right. I’m like the Punxsutawney Phil of football predictions. So, in conclusion, I am a reliable source for future game predictions, particularly when it comes to betting large sums of money. I predict you will listen to me again.

On to the draft!!

John Kirkland

Well, I got one thing right. One of the teams scored exactly 28 points. It just wasn’t the Seahawks and they did not win.

Also, I was surprised that I did not hate the commercials. In fact when someone I was watching the game with saw the Budweiser commercial, she asked for a Bud, only half-jokingly.

So there you have it. Another Super Bowl in the books and unfortunately the Lombardi trophy went to the Patriots.

Joanne Kong

The game was exactly what I’d expected (“SORTA” — and if you don’t know what I mean, check out the Super Bowl Ad).

Bryan Cranston Nationwide

Bryan Cranston is “sorta” your pharmacist, according to Esurance.

Lohan esurance

Lindsay Lohan is “sorta” your mom according to Esurance.

As I predicted, the New England Patriots left Arizona’s University of Phoenix Stadium victorious.  And was I the only one to correctly predict that on the staff?  Why, yes, thank you for asking, I WAS the only one to correctly predict this on the staff.

Marshawn Lynch DID rush for over 100 yards, specifically, 104 rushing yards. Although, I predicted two TDs. I consider this prediction “SORTA” correct since the final play call of the game should have been a rushing TD by Lynch. I’m certain Lynch’s face (wearing his official BeastMode hat, which, by the way, has sold like hot cakes) will haunt Pete Carroll during the off-season.

Russell Wilson DID pass for under 250 yards. He passed for 247 yards to be exact.

Russell Wilson DID rush for under 50 yards. He rushed for 39 yards to be exact.

Tom Brady DID pass for over 300 yards. He passed for 328 yards.

Tom Brady DID rush for under 10 yards. He actually rushed for -3 yards, which is “SORTA” correct.

And Gronkowski DID get a TD.

WOW! That’s a lot of “DIDs”.  I AM awesome. I knew flipping that coin would eventually pay off.  Where’s my Chevy Colorado?


Hope you enjoyed the game!


The Football Garbage Time Staff

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