GarbageTalk: The Three Musketeers, Bobby, Rodge and Jerry, Celebrate A W

On exiting the stadium, I heard Pete Carrol mumbling to himself. At first, I couldn’t make it out, but eventually, he got loud enough for me to hear. He was saying: “would’a, could’a, should’a.” Yep. That about sums up the last Seattle play of the Super Bowl.

But enough talk bout the losers. I’m sure all you want to talk about is what the winners did post-SuperBowl. And so I give you the Kraft/Goodell unofficial post-W conversation:

RK: Rodge, I told you we would win regardless of that deflated-ball-gate debacle. And to make you feel better, I had Blount wear a long sleeve undershirt so no one would question you about baby oil! So you owe me big boy.
RG: Bobby, I’m so tired. What a tough year I had. Thank god I’m free and clear for a few months now. You need to pay me more … I want over fifty million dollars next year or I walk. I’ll tell Jerry myself.
RK: Rodge, relax. We got your back. With Jerry’s new plan to get into the political scene, we are looking at a whole new demographic and audience base, which means more dollars in our pockets big boy. Now how about we go party! I didn’t get this spray tan to look good only under stadium lights. Wait until you see me under the black light!
RG: Oh lord. Let’s go Bobby. What do you have planned? Oh, thank the lord you guys won. The Seahawks party was going to be so lame!
RK: Tell me about it. Paul Allen wouldn’t know a party if it punched him in the face! By the way, Jerry flew up. He owes me $100,000. He took the Seahawks, I had faith in you. Least I can do is let him in on our soiree.
RG: Ha! He better have $150,000, cause I also bet him that the Patriots would beat the Seahawks!
RK: Hahaha! Awesome. I can’t wait to see the look on his face. He must be so mad.
RG: Seriously. And I can’t wait to hear all about his plan to get into politics! Let’s get outta here.
RK: Indeed.

Whoa. My take away from this is that Jerry, “Bobby” and “Rodge” are real gamblers. And despite all the hype about the Patriots being cheaters, it seems like both teams played by the rules. And without a ref deciding the game, overall I found it highly enjoyable. Much better than last year’s blow out!

With the season over, I look forward to bringing you musing from all over the map in anticipation of the NFL’s 2015 season.

Ciao America.

By John Kirkland

Disclaimer: GarbageTalkTM (this Column), is a news and football satire web publication. All articles contained within this Column are fiction, and contain presumably fake news. As such, any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental. All characters and events referenced, even those based on real people, are entirely fictional. Any and all overheard conversations referenced herein have occurred solely in this author’s warped brain and are meant entirely for entertainment purposes.

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